Our love was warm

Our love was whole

Our love was home

Only for the summer.

Because after summer came fall,

The fall of us.

After seasons of learning the art of

Biting my tongue to erase your taste

Holding my breath to keep you out

Running to widen the distance between us within me

And unlearning you

Your memory found me

Unfolded itself

And settled.

I remembered the sweetness on your tongue

And nirvana in your eyes.

I remembered the warmness in your smile

And the sound of your voice.

I remembered the way your love would light up at the sight of me

And the home we made.

And then I remembered the day you left

I remembered waiting for you to remember me

I remembered carrying my heart and saying goodbye to the thought of you at night

Only to wake up in the morning, desperately waiting for you to love me again.

I remembered hating myself

For failing to accept it was just a temporary love and not acting like a temporary lover.

I remembered there were days when I wanted to tell you I am sorry for missing you

Because you played your temporary role perfectly

And I was the one failing.

I remembered being jealous of the way you were doing just fine without me

Because I would be having the time of my life and still wish I was living it out with you.

I remembered how I always replayed our memories

Because that was all that I had left of you

But on some days, it felt like they were leaving too

And on most days, it felt like they were not real.

And maybe, just maybe

In another life

You will find me, unfold yourself, and settle.

But right here, right now

I know summer will come around again, but you will not.

I know the sun will always be closer to you than I ever will be,

I hope she takes care of you.

And during fall

When the earth’s sons and daughters shed what once was a part of them,

I will start with you.

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