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Our love was whole |
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Our love was home |
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Only for the summer. |
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Because after summer came fall, |
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After seasons of learning the art of |
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Biting my tongue to erase your taste |
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Holding my breath to keep you out |
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Running to widen the distance between us within me |
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And unlearning you |
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Your memory found me |
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Unfolded itself |
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And settled. |
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I remembered the sweetness on your tongue |
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And nirvana in your eyes. |
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I remembered the warmness in your smile |
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And the sound of your voice. |
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I remembered the way your love would light up at the sight of me |
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And the home we made. |
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And then I remembered the day you left |
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I remembered waiting for you to remember me |
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I remembered carrying my heart and saying goodbye to the thought of you at night |
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Only to wake up in the morning, desperately waiting for you to love me again. |
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I remembered hating myself |
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For failing to accept it was just a temporary love and not acting like a temporary lover. |
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I remembered there were days when I wanted to tell you I am sorry for missing you |
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Because you played your temporary role perfectly |
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And I was the one failing. |
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I remembered being jealous of the way you were doing just fine without me |
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Because I would be having the time of my life and still wish I was living it out with you. |
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I remembered how I always replayed our memories |
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Because that was all that I had left of you |
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But on some days, it felt like they were leaving too |
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And on most days, it felt like they were not real. |
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And maybe, just maybe |
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In another life |
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You will find me, unfold yourself, and settle. |
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But right here, right now |
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I know summer will come around again, but you will not. |
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I know the sun will always be closer to you than I ever will be, |
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I hope she takes care of you. |
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And during fall |
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When the earth’s sons and daughters shed what once was a part of them, |
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I will start with you. |
