Our love was whole |
Our love was home |
Only for the summer. |
Because after summer came fall, |
After seasons of learning the art of |
Biting my tongue to erase your taste |
Holding my breath to keep you out |
Running to widen the distance between us within me |
And unlearning you |
Your memory found me |
Unfolded itself |
And settled. |
I remembered the sweetness on your tongue |
And nirvana in your eyes. |
I remembered the warmness in your smile |
And the sound of your voice. |
I remembered the way your love would light up at the sight of me |
And the home we made. |
And then I remembered the day you left |
I remembered waiting for you to remember me |
I remembered carrying my heart and saying goodbye to the thought of you at night |
Only to wake up in the morning, desperately waiting for you to love me again. |
I remembered hating myself |
For failing to accept it was just a temporary love and not acting like a temporary lover. |
I remembered there were days when I wanted to tell you I am sorry for missing you |
Because you played your temporary role perfectly |
And I was the one failing. |
I remembered being jealous of the way you were doing just fine without me |
Because I would be having the time of my life and still wish I was living it out with you. |
I remembered how I always replayed our memories |
Because that was all that I had left of you |
But on some days, it felt like they were leaving too |
And on most days, it felt like they were not real. |
And maybe, just maybe |
In another life |
You will find me, unfold yourself, and settle. |
But right here, right now |
I know summer will come around again, but you will not. |
I know the sun will always be closer to you than I ever will be, |
I hope she takes care of you. |
And during fall |
When the earth’s sons and daughters shed what once was a part of them, |
I will start with you. |